"We're playing 4-4-f*****g-2"

Spot the odd one out? Capello.

He's not a knob.

'Mike Bassett, England Manager' is the most legendary Football film ever made. Forget 'Damned United', 'Football Factory', 'Mean Machine'. They've got nothing on Bassy. He danced half-naked on a bar infront of Pele, opened his curtains to the media completely starkers, and he liked the Christmas Pudding formation. Yes, I know it's all fiction, but sshh. His hilarious antics but awful tactics and managerial ability make him the best and worst manager England never had. He'll always be remembered as the guy who loved Kipling (not the cake maker), and the infamous speech that led to him announcing England would be playing "four-four-f*****g-two". Brilliant.

Steve McClaren is just an idiot. He stood on the Wembley touchline with an FA sponsored umbrella, and a Wembley cup of Coffee (Probably decaf), and attempted to interact with a Dutch journalist (in English) by inheriting a Dutch accent. One of the most hilariously cringeworthy Youtube videos I've ever seen, and one that summed up his time as England manager. England failed to qualify for Euro 2008 with McClaren in charge, something that the majority of England fans have chosen to forget. Unfortunately for McClaren he'll always be remembered for exactly that, along with the umbrella incident. Everyone is glad he's buggered off to Holland. They can have him.

Then there's Fab Cap. I don't care that he wears speedos and poses like a page 3 girl. He's a pure legend, and I respect him no matter what he does. He can wear pink bunny ears, and jump up and down on the touchline shouting "I love cake!" for all I care. I love the guy. England are unbeaten in all competitive fixtures under the Italian, and haven't even dropped a point. Now just 3 points away from qualifying for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, Capello is right up there with the very best of England gaffers. What a hero.

Can't wait to see who England's next manager will be. Christopher Biggins? Barbara Windsor? The Hulk?

Fab tells Becks to get out, or be left out

LA Galaxy star David Beckham has been told by England gaffer Fabio Capello to get out of America or be left out of his World Cup 2010 squad. Beckham, who had a 5 month loan spell at AC Milan last season, has been on the receiving end of a lot of stick from the Galaxy fans recently, and has also been getting into a bit of petty trouble on the pitch too. Tut tut ‘goldenballs’.

Now Capello, renowned for his no-nonsense style, has given Beckham the ultimate ultimatum. 34 year old Beckham has always expressed his desire to continue playing for England until he finished his career, and with recent rumours suggesting he wants to make a return to the San Siro, this could be the final curtain call for Beckham in his quest to fulfill his National career.

Becks has had his fair share of controversy throughout an illustrious career, so he won’t be adverse to a bit of stern talk from Fab Cap. The pair have shared a mixed relationship, ever since working together at Real Madrid. Becks of course was controversially left out of the Real team but worked his way back in and became the driving force behind a La Liga win that gained great respect from Football fans and Capello himself.

The question for DB is, can he still cut it at the very highest level, a World Cup? We’ve seen throughout the past 10 years or so, he’s always put his critics to bed, and if he is to make it into the 23-man squad for the South Africa based tournament, he’ll have to do that just one more time.